I’ve seen “Fireproof.”
I’ve seen “Courageous.”
How had I not seen “Facing the Giants”?
In case you haven’t heard of / seen any of the above movies, I’ll just say…you should! They are clean, Christian films that focus on very real issues. I think each one gets better than the last, and all of them had me laughing and crying and thinking.
This last one really did that for me, and kind of out of the blue. When I saw “Facing the Giants” on tv a couple of weeks ago, I decided to DVR it and save it for a lazy day. I was expecting a good movie, some football drama, and a healthy dose of inspiration.
Instead I found myself looking my most recent, and pretty big fear, right in the face. In turn, this lead to tears, snot, and my dog running into the other room just to get away from the crazy lady who wanted to snuggle. 😛
You may remember a post from a couple of months back called “Praise vs. Fear.” It was about a road Chris & I were traveling down, and the crossroads of choosing fear or choosing to praise God. And not just praising Him in the good, but praising Him in the bad. Praising Him if the answer isn’t easy, or even if the answer isn’t given.
In the days since that post, we’ve been making that choice (praise vs. fear) over, and over, and over again. Probably me even moreso than Chris. We’ve dealt with a bit of a runaround from doctors, trouble with scheduling, and lots of questions.
So then, on Saturday, when the secondary storyline of the movie unfolds, I come back the that crossroads. I was expecting football, not infertility. I was expecting to watch someone else’s problems for a while, not stare mine in the face.
See, that’s what Chris and I have had lingering questions over. I won’t go into all the details here, because the story is not mine alone to tell. The point is that there was a question as to how Chris & I would be able to start a family one day and after a lot of discussions we decided that the time had come to find out where we stood.
In the movie, the man asks his wife something along these lines…“But will you love Him <God>? Will you love Him even if He never allows us to have children of our own?”
Talk about a crossroad staring you right in the face. Would I love Him, even if He never allowed Chris & I to have children of our own?
It reminded me of just about a year ago, when I was facing the potential of job loss and the question “Will I trust Him, even if He allows me to lose my job?”
God has grown me since the job-scare. I’ve learned to trust more, I’ve learned more about God’s will & what He does and does not promise His followers. But that doesn’t mean I’m without worry or angst. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have to regularly decide that God is worthy of praise whether he makes my life easy or not.
And I had to accept that He would be worthy of my praise, no matter what the test results were. I would love Him, no matter the result.
So I turned again to 2 Chronicles 20…a vast army was coming against them, so they inquired of the Lord. He told them “‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them….You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you…Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.”
On Monday, we faced that battle. I gave it to the Lord yes, but we still had to face it. And guess what? He deserves our praise. He is worthy of all devotion and love and admiration. And he would have been just as worthy if the test results had come back and said we most likely would not have children of our own.
But that wasn’t the case.
Praise God, the doctor said that we should be fine moving forward! Thank you Jesus!
It’s always been in God’s hands, but when I’ve considered having children in the past it’s always included a lot of calculated planning on my part. Coming through this, I’m recognizing more and more that my “plans” are…nothing. So here we are, yet again at a crossroads. Will we trust God to bless our little family with a child in His timing? Will we love Him if it happens before we think we’re ready? Will we love Him if it takes longer than we’d like? Will I trust His plans above my own?
Such is life, isn’t it? A bazillion crossroads everyday, some small…some ginormous. Will you keep your eyes on Him? Will I?
I pray that we do, because His plans far exceed our own.
KEEP CALM & PRAISE HIM!
P.S. – For more information on the movies, check out their webpage. I have found them all to be so incredibly life applicable…God is moving through this movie ministry! http://sherwoodpictures.com/