Posts Tagged With: date night

Case Study: Do Opposites Really Attract?

Ever feel like you are channeling Paula Abdul?

I can’t say it happens to me that often either, but today I can’t get her out of my head. If you were around in the the eighties or nineties or whenever she wrote the lyrics, I bet before this post is over you’ll be singing “Opposites Attract.”

You can thank me later. 🙂

One of the husband’s and I more recent date nights revolved around a chapter called “Finding Unity in Diversity.” Lots of big words that basically meant “How to get along when you are so darn different.”

I already knew that Chris and I were pretty different. Here are a few of our most basic differences…

– I listen to country, christian, and pop music. He listens to…I don’t even know what you call it…heavy metal I guess.

– I watch romantic comedies. He watches horror flicks. You should see our DVD collection…a lot of pink & hearts mixed in with black & blood.

– I was a front row student, big over-achiever. He is a back row student who will try to talk the teacher out of what they asked him to do.

I just didn’t quite realize how truly opposite we are.

The book had a series of “scales.” We each marked where we were on the scale, then compared answers. Oh boy.

– Chris is more “feelings” oriented. I am more “facts” oriented.

– I am more private, he is more public.

– Whereas he is spontaneous (not that he likes to be spontaneous, it’s more that he doesn’t like to plan), I am the ultimate of all planners.

– I am time-oriented, he…isn’t.

– He is a night-owl, and I like sleep to much. That makes me a “day lark.”

And, to make the whole exercise even more interesting, we found that we are pretty well balanced as far as the degree to which we are each “thing.” <I don’t feel like that was very clear. Let me try again.> In other words, he is just as public as I am private, as feelings oriented as I am facts oriented.

So…we balance one another.

Of course, the book had quite a bit to say about to work together, using your combined strengths to make your marriage partnership stronger and such. All good food for thought. What it helped me to remember is that A) life would be pretty boring if we both were exactly the same and B) our differences enable God to continue rubbing away at our impurities.

I’ll just have to try and remember that the next time Chris tries to buck my plans. 😉

Now…take it away Paula!

I take-2 steps forward
 You take-2 steps back
We come together
Cuz  opposites attract
And you know-it ain’t fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Baby ain’t it somethin’
How we  lasted this long
You and me
Provin’ everyone wrong
Don’t think we’ll  ever
Get our differences patched
Don’t really matter
Cuz we’re perfectly matched

KEEP CALM & SING ALONG!

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Categories: The Husband | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Date Night…Game On!

Last week our little date night bible study was looking a little sad…with the exception of one couple, everyone else in the room came as “singles.” Hehe…guess the “conflict” chapter was a little much for everyone to handle.

I kid, I kid. As usual, Chris was at class, so we had to make up our date on a different night. We decided to stay home & save some money, so we cooked together, read our chapter/answered questions over dinner, then played a few board games together.

Before I share a few pics and giggles with you about the games we played, I want to take a few to tell you about “Date 4: Becoming an Encourager.” It’s really a God thing that this chapter came up the same week when my sweet husband is battling job worries and uncertainties…he certainly could use encouragement and support from me. There were a couple of really great thoughts in the book…here’s a couple of them for you to “chew on.”

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“If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. If you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become that bigger and better man.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

– This quote pulled me back to a book I commonly reference called Love & Respect. In L&R, the author talks about how as a wife, I need to give my husband respect regardless of whether or not he earns it. I need to do it because that’s what I am called to by God, and by doing it I will be giving him what he needs to ultimately be a man deserving of that respect.

“All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses assure us of neither success nor failure. They are merely the setting where we play out our marriage.” -David & Claudia Arp

– Strengths can’t be used to bully, and weaknesses can’t be used as an excuse.

“You must have at least five times as many positive as negative moments together if your marriage is to be stable.” -Dr. Gottman, from the book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

The authors go on to say that the five to one ratio just keeps you even, but a more healthy ratio would be seven positive moments/comments to every one negative. When your ratio gets off, the stability in your marriage plummets…something Chris and I have really felt in the last few months. We are committed to flipping that ratio around. What about you? What would your ratio look like if you kept track of your positive and negative moments?

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On to our game night…

We’ve got a pretty rockin’ collection of board games in our closet, but many of them take more than two players. Monopoly? Nah, it’s a week night and everybody knows how that game can drag on. Stratego? Nope. He finds my flag in about 5 minutes. Yahtzee? We play that one a lot, and he beats me literally everytime. Lookin’ for something new.

So, we finally settled on a game that I played as a child but was new to Chris. Pass the Pigs!

Basically you throw the pigs downand get points when they land in crazy positions. Or, you lose points when they land in certain ways. The following picture shows how Chris managed to lose all of his points in one fail swoop.

Bahaha!

It gave me just the momentum I needed to pull ahead for the win.

In case you can’t see that final score, it was Chris: 0, Heather: 100.

Boo-yah.

Hum. I may or may not have rubbed my victory in with a dance, whoops and holla’s, and a few shoulder brush off’s.

Guess that probably wasn’t very encouraging.

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Since the first game took all of 7 minutes, we decided to take our virtual game of “Words with Friends” into the real world and try our hand at Scrabble. I was definitely not on my A game…but we did have to pull out the dictionary on Chris a couple of times.

And by dictionary, I mean dictionary app on the iPad.

Oh this world of technology we live in.

Anyway, he won. Nothing else to see people.

Move along, move along.

Date Night #3 – Success!

KEEP CALM & GAME ON!

 

Categories: Daily Drama, Lovin' the Lord | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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