I don’t wanna grow up…

Trying out another writing prompt from Mama Kat today…entitled “The 7 WORST things about being an adult.” Gotta send you her way – check out her blog (I was snorting with laughter at today’s rendition of “Forget You!”), as well as the other bloggers linking up this week. Fun times!

(*Just click on the pic!)

Mama's Losin' It

Before I get rollin’ on the 7 WORST things about being all grown-up, I’ve gotta share a story that I heard on the radio a few years back. (Disclaimer: Eh, my mind has probably distorted this memory a bit over the years, but the general idea is the same. Just go with it.)

The radio announcer spoke with the craziest Texas twang I’ve ever heard, which is saying a lot. He kept pronouncing America as “Amurca.” It so inspired me that I have since insisted on saying it that way myself.

I believe his whole point was that people needed to get over complaining about how hard life was. After all, we live in Amurca people! The way he went about proving his point was by painting a twangy-verbal picture of the African savaana. It went something like this. (Just say it in a twangy voice as you read it…if I try to type it in twang-slang you probably will have no idea what I’m saying…unless it’s like your mother tongue or something.)

“Everyday, on the plains of the African Savaana, a gazelle rests under a tree. And everyday, on that same plain in Africa, a lion goes on the hunt, looking for the fresh meat of a gazelle. Every-single-dad’gum-day, that gazelle has to run for his life, or risk being eaten for a lion’s dinner. Every. Single. Day. SO SUCK IT UP AMURCA! AT LEAST YOU AREN’T A GAZELLE IN AFRICA!”

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Bahaha…”suck it up Amurca!”…that’s my favorite part.

Interesting presentation, but I can definitely understand the sentiment. Many, many times since hearing that story I’ve uttered the words “At least I’m not a gazelle!”…and the truth is we’ve got it better than most here in Amurca. So with all that being said…I’m going to complain a little anyway.

Presenting my list of…the 7 WORST things about being an adult!

1. Alarm Clocks…these can come in the form of the sun, the electronic devices, pets, or children. Thanks to my dark curtains and bc pill, I only have to deal with the electronic version and my dog. One is easily snoozed. The other knows all the buttons to push to get me up and out of bed. At 7 a.m. In the summer. Sometimes a girl just wants to sleep in! (Side note to the mothers out there who are wondering if they should be offended…the answer is: no. I do want to be a mother one day, and then I will gladly, willingly, resignedly accept my child as a an alarm clock.)

2. Finances…okay, so this one is both good and bad. Obviously I’m always pumped about payday, and it’s getting better and better the more we get our finances in order and continue chipping away at our student loan debt. (One day I daresay it will be super fun to get paid, because Lord willing we’ll be debt free and total masters over our money!) Also, I am so so so so so thankful for jobs and a paycheck…I know that is not guaranteed in this economy. So, with all that said…paydays also cause a little stress, especially when I was a single girl. I would get paid, pay my bills, and have shockingly little left over to last for the rest of the month. Starting out in the grown-up world is rough, and debt sucks…so that’s why it made my “worst” list. Wasn’t it just better being a kid and having your parents give you all the things / money you needed?! (Hehe…better for the kid I guess…)

3.  Cooking…not a fan. Some people love it…I just don’t. I’m trying to improve and am learning a lot of lessons, but being in the kitchen making meals is not what I usually want to focus my attention on. (Which would explain why I burn things…a lot.) If I were to suddenly become a bazillionaire, probably the first thing I would do would be to hire a chef to come in and cook all of our meals. I never particularly look forward to getting in the kitchen and cooking…hence it’s place on the “worst” list.

4. Hair…it’s everywhere. I feel like since I turned 25 and got married and really felt like I entered grown-up land I suddenly added “hair patrol” to my list of to-do’s. Y’all know I’ve got mustache issues. Nothing new there. Shaving my legs feels like a chore…but my husband makes fun of me if I get to scruffy. (I can’t imagine why.) My eyebrows lean dangerously close to a unibrow if I’m not constantly tweezing them. Even Chris’ hair is now under my domain, and I feel like I’m being held accountable if he looks too hairy or weird. (Which is why I’m always bugging him to let me tweeze his wanna be uni-brow…he’s let me a few times, but was a total baby about it.) Plus I feel like as an adult I should have “styled” hair…and my fine little hair that won’t hold a curl or a style doesn’t generally cooperate with that. A ponytail is a style…right?!

5. Talking on the phone…this one is probably just me. I just don’t like having to call and schedule appointments, or make inquiries, or answer questions…I just get all awkward. Perfect example: Last week I was shopping around for tires and had to make a few phone calls. The first guy wanted to know what type of tire I needed, and he literally had to walk me through where to look on the tire to find that information. (You know he’s thinking “Hello! We can totally take this girl for a ride…she’s a total ignoramus!”) He then asked for my phone number, and that so flustered me that I gave him the wrong one. Just so wrong. You would have thought he had just asked for my phone number so he could ask me on a date or something. So I had to hang up, look up my number, and call him back to change it. I’ll talk to friends or family all day long…but call a stranger?! Why can’t I just get my mom to do that for me…

6. Loss…it’s just a fact of life. The older you grow, the more loss you experience. Death, changes in relationships…even loss of innocence and that “I’m going to save the world!” mentality. When a friend of mine experienced a tragic loss, it hit me that I was an adult when I realized that I was the one who needed to go visit and give my condolences. I’ve always seen my mom do this, and I’ve even gone along, but this was the first time it was all me. The death of my Pappy, losing touch with friends from my past…each person who passes from my life for one reason or another leaves a mark and causes me to mourn.  I know that as I continue to “grow up” there will be more loss along the way. It’s sad and not fun to think about…but in the face of this “worst” thing I try to remain thankful in the opportunities I’ve had to know and to love.

7. Drama…don’t you wish it would have just stopped in high school?! I won’t say I haven’t, or don’t, ever get caught up in a little drama from time to time, but thankfully my parents honestly just didn’t allow it when I was growing up…so it’s not something I go looking for by any means. (And let’s be honest, even though they deny it, there are plenty of people who “go looking for it.”) You would think adults could get past it and learn to get along without acting like crazies…but that doesn’t appear to be the case. Even my grandmother, before she passed away, would have a little drama going on with her elderly neighbor from time to time. Girl drama knows no end apparently. 😛 All I’ve gotta say is…save it for your Mama…or your llama…or Obama. Just don’t. involve. me.

To sum it up, as my Dad and I say to each other from time to time…sometimes being a grown-up sucks.

But I guess it’s better than being a gazelle…

KEEP CALM & SUCK IT UP AMURCA!

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Categories: Daily Drama | Tags: , , , | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “I don’t wanna grow up…

  1. gretchen

    Oh now you’re making me think of things I should have put on my list! I especially appreciate the alarm block thing and the loss. Ergh. I will try to remember that at least I’m not a gazelle!

  2. We must have been separated at birth! Your list of 7 could easily have come from my brain as well.

  3. Jennifer Worrell

    Wait until the *&^%% chin hairs start popping up! ARRRRRGH! Drama is ridiculous, and good for your parents for keeping you out of it. Adults create just as much as teen girls, though:( Great post!

    • Chin hairs?! When will the insanity end? I’m tempted to move to the mountains and just let it all grow out…

      • Jennifer Worrell

        There’s a show called “Mountain Men” where I think we’d fit in just fine:)

  4. I love #5 – talking on the phone. Immediately made me think of my husband. He is like that AND (even worse) he cannot go through a drive-thru. He always stumbles over his order, forgets things…just generally flustered. I’ll share this with him tonight so he knows he’s not alone.

    *clickin’ in from MamaKat*

    • Definitely good to know I’m not the only adult with this problem. I am, however, an expert drive-thru orderer. Probably not a good thing. 😛

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