You’ve seen it all before…end of the year class awards. In High School it’s things like “Best Eyes” and “Class Flirt” (I think I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed…which I have, but probably not to the extent that some others in my class have. Ah well.) In Elementary we do it a little differently. I saw an adorable set of certificates on “Teacher Pay Teacher” (if you are a teacher and have not checked that out yet, then you must, must, must!) that’s called “Candy Bar Awards.” Snickers for the child who always makes everyone laugh, Almond Joy for the one who is always happy, Lifesavers for the child who is always willing to help out others, etc…
The really great, over-achieving teacher in me really wanted to do the candy bar awards & go buy each of the candies for the kiddos…but the two shots in my bum + a z-pack exhausted “let’s just survive all these end of the year festivities”decided to go an easier route. The kids are totally not getting jipped, because they were super cute certificates with fun little titles…like “Substitute Teacher Award”…”American Idol”…and “Ravenous Reader.” All the kids are very deserving of these fun little titles, because…I’m just gonna say it, my kids are the coolest. 😉
But let’s just be honest here. Come May, teachers are tired, kids are tired, and for a variety of reasons, the relationships in the classroom have a tendency to become strained. It’s kind of like a marriage…the things that were cute in the beginning are like nails on a chalkboard by the end. (Disclaimer: I love my students. I will miss them & I want only good things for them. This is nothing personal against any of them…it’s just a natural part of the school year. So don’t hate on me, cause I’m not trying to hate on them. Cool?)
So you can imagine how it would be so tempting to have a separate list of “awards” to put into words the dark side of all these personalities that come and live together for a year. This is my 5th year of teaching, so I’ll pull a few of the “dark side awards” I would have liked to have given from years past. (Remember, it’s all in good fun! *wink*)
The Dark Side: Classroom Awards
Most Likely to Say the Teacher’s Name 100 Gazillion Times a Day
Most Likely to Cut in Line
Least Legible Handwriting
Mover & Shaker & Wiggler & WILL NOT EVER SIT STILL Award
Most Likely to have a Hit List
(*just hoping that particular one has had enough teacher’s since me for me to have moved down on the list! AGH!)
Most Likely to Do the Opposite of What I Say
Most Likely to Eat Everything
(including, but not limited too, boogers…pencils…glue…paper…I’ve seen it all!)
Best at UN-tying your Shoe
Mr./Miss “Gotta Have the Last Word” (good luck with that one if you’re in my room! :P)
Bathroom Camper Outer(the reward for this one would be a newspaper…ha!)
Hehe…that’s probably as good a place as any to stop. I’ve thought of one too many at this point that I just can’t put on here, and the force of the dark side is getting stronger…so we’ll quite while we’re ahead. 😉
No worries, I’m positive my students could come up with a few “Dark Side” rewards for me as well. Actually, one of them did not long ago. He said I was mean and looked like a cockroach. And he did not appreciate it when that made me laugh.
On a final note, I tried googling variations of “sarcastic classroom rewards” and got a screen full of links talking about how inappropriate sarcasm is for the classroom. My bad. Guess I’m the only soul
brave stupid enough to just put it out here on blog land. I’m just saying what every teacher out there is thinking….right?!
(And no, I don’t typically use sarcasm in the classroom. Not that 5 year olds even get sarcasm anyway.)
So…2 more days! 😉
KEEP CALM & DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T GIVE SARCASTIC AWARDS IN YOUR OWN HEAD!