If you were to ask my husband what his favorite hobby is, I’m sure he’d say computer gaming. But I would dare to say that “random acts of talking” would be a close second.
It wears me out.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the guy. I love that he is friendly (most of the time) and can appreciate the fact that he likes to talk to new people. But occasionally it goes too far.
Like the night Chris took Huxley out for a restroom break around midnight. I was getting ready for bed, but couldn’t figure out what their hold-up was…they had been out there for a long time. I bust open the door, only to see my husband & puppy standing in the yard talking to a big, strange man. I mean, HELLO!…this is a classic case of STRANGER DANGER if I’ve ever heard of one. I tried to slip back in unseen, but it was to no avail. The stranger now knew I was in the house. Classic.
So I did what any of you would have done. I got my phone ready to dial 911, got my car keys in my hand, and monitored the situation through the bedroom blinds. I don’t know what my plan was beyond that…although I think we can safely say I was planning to go with flight over fight. Sorry husband.
Thankfully for everyone, it didn’t come down to that. Chris & Hux finally came back in; Huxley ready for bed & Chris practically glowing with tales of his new friend. Apparently they had talked about every topic under the sun…because that’s what we do with strangers in our yard at midnight.
Before I could settle down and sleep I had to know was his name, which I then cross referenced with the sex offender list. Once he checked out I made sure every door and window in the house was locked, said my prayers, and asked my husband to save his random acts of talking for daylight.
He loves to participate in random acts of talking with waitresses. Usually the people we eat with start shooting me worried looks, wrinkle up their foreheads, and finally work up the nerve to ask me “Doesn’t it bother you that he’s flirting with her?!”
Smooth your forehead wrinkles friend…I’d hate for your face to freeze like that. 😉
I assure them that he is not flirting, and that I’m not worried. He is indulging in a random act of talking and soaking up every glorious minute of it.
Or perhaps you’ve been a random passerbyer, someone standing in the same grocery aisle as us or pumping gas at the tank one over. If he realizes that he has somehow caught your attention, then he’s going to try to draw you into a conversation by starting to recite one of his tried-and-true funny stories. And he will do this VERY LOUDLY.
Once you make eye contact it’s all over. You are now a victim of his random act of talking. Good luck getting off of this train buddy.
I could go on and on, but I don’t want to seem like I’m picking on him. It’s a part of who he is, so I love it…but he also knows that I have my limits. (Which he usually blows right past, but we won’t get into that. It would be wrong of me to tell you that he completely ignores our pre-determined signal, which is referred to as “the arm rub.” I would never dare let you know that he sometimes confuses conversations with a one-man comedy show. And what kind of wife would tell you that if random acts of talking were a crime her husband would be behind bars for life?! Not this wife, that’s for sure.)
I do find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Does anyone else watch “The Marriage Ref?” There was a couple on a while back who had this same issue going on…only probably worse. It was an eerie glimpse at my future. See for yourself…http://www.nbc.com/the-marriage-ref/video/the-refs-weigh-in-frank-the-chatterbox/1339959
Before I go, can I let you in on just one little secret? Promise you won’t tell him? Cross your heart and hope to cry?
Even though it makes me uncomfortable at times and sometimes I nearly rub his arm raw…it also makes me feel proud of him. He has this silly, endearing way about him that makes people laugh & leaves them with a smile. Not everyone’s husband can do that. He is truly my sunshine, and I have to remind myself that it’s okay to share his rays of laughter and light with random people we meet.
But if he ever knew that then it would completely go to his head and he’d probably quit his day job to become a professional talker. So let’s just keep that between us, okay?!
KEEP CALM & TALK ON!