Since when did my toes become public enemy #1?
Since when did my sweet puppy decide that he should be the one to avenge the aforementioned toes?
It. must. stop.
Hux has nipped at Chris’ feet from day 1, especially if socks are involved. I assumed it was because he found something offensive about Chris’ feet, didn’t care for his choice in socks, or that he had something against hobbits. (Chris himself calls them that, so I’m not being mean.) It has been by far the most aggravating part of having a puppy for Chris, and although I’ve tried to be helpful in looking up training tips and such, I haven’t been overly sympathetic. Chris plays rough with Huxley, therefore Huxley nips at Chris. Case closed.
Until Hux unleashed his sharp little teeth on my feet.
Now granted, I do have excessively large feet. (Size 11 in women’s…try finding cute shoes in that size why don’t cha!) Maybe the surface area is so large that he couldn’t help but notice them. Maybe my pink toenails were taunting him, like little chew toys just waiting to be squeaked. Whatever the reason, I’m hoping we grow out of this stage quickly. Because right now my otherwise sweet puppy is showing flashing glimpses of becoming a man eater. Or of having a foot fetish. Either way, it’s a scary picture that’s being painted.
So in order to help out morale around the Thompson household and start working toward a solution that will make everyone happy, I’ve written out this memo for Huxley. I mean, you can’t be held liable for what you don’t know right? Let’s get this little guy in the know so that he’ll make better decisions…
FROM: Your Parents
DATE: June 13, 2011
SUBJECT: Feet are not chew toys
It has recently come to our attention that you have a few misunderstandings of human feet, and their purpose as it relates to you. In order to help you develop a more appropriate relationship with the human feet in your home (as well as those you will encounter outside the home), we feel it necessary to address this matter directly.
Human Feet are NOT:
– Chew Toys: they will not squeak & they do not taste like chicken
– Out to Get You: they are not your enemy, nor do they wish to cause you bodily harm
– Food: they will not taste good, and in most cases, will not smell good either
– In Need of Being Herded: your human knows where he or she wants to go, and unlike a pea-brained sheep, they don’t need your teeth to guide them
Human Feet ARE:
– A Mode of Transportation: they help your humans play hide & seek with you, take you outside, and generally get from here to there
– Tender: the skin on the top of feet is very thin, causing it to be easily punctured…blood, tears, and/or cursing will follow if you pierce that skin
– Attached to Your Human: you can not pull them off and take them possessively back to your bed, they are attached to your human and will stay that way (God willing!), so give up the dream
– Typically Covered by Socks and/or Shoes: the choice in footwear is a personal preference of your human; if you don’t care for or agree with their choices, then it’s all the more reason to stay away
Thank you for what we know will be a quick resolution to what has been a painful and, quite frankley, annoying problem on your part. As the situation continues to improve you will find yourself in a happier home environment, and will be rewarded with additional chew toys and more chicken. Should you continue to nip or bite at human feet, showing a deliberate defiance towards the information presented to you in this memo, you will be referred to an exotic animal trainer who has worked with alligators. It is not our wish to drop you off at the alligator farm for training, but we will do what is necessary to find a solution. We appreciate your cooperation and attention to this matter.
(*Interesting Note: We actually have looked into training, and the group class we are considering is taught by a girl named Holly. She did indeed start her career as an exotic animal trainer and has trained alligators. If she could keep them from biting her feet, surely she could get Hux to stop!)
I’ll keep the rest of you non-feet biters (and if you are a closet foot biter then please, stay in the closet on that one…) informed on how the progress goes. 🙂 Seriously, we do understand that this is part of the puppy process, that they mouth things, and that it is our job to teach them to have a “soft mouth.” We’re working on it, just hoping that our feet, new plant, rugs, and chair legs survive until this phase is over!
And despite the fact that behind closed doors our feet are being abused by someone like 1/25th of our size, everywhere we take him we get compliments on how cute, sweet, and well-behaved he is. Today the vet even told me that she thinks welsh-corgi puppies are the cutest puppies out there, and I would have to agree. That means that the odds are my puppy is cuter than yours. And if you say something to the contrary then I’m going to turn him loose on YOUR toes. ; )
KEEP CALM & PRAY FOR MY FEET!