Dead Plant Walking

Oh dear. I tried to warn them. I told them not to even think about it. I gave them example after example of my track record.

Nothing worked.

They’ve given me a plant.

Don’t get me wrong – I am so so so appreciative for the many friends & family who sent us plants. I just wanted to spare one the trauma of coming home with me.

It’s not that I don’t love plants either, because I do. In fact that track record was earned due to countless numbers of times when I said “This will be the one…” or “I WILL remember to water this one…” or “This one is hardy enough that I can surely keep it alive.”

Instead, they all end up looking like this…

For those of you who have visited my home, you’ve probably even noticed the plant cemetary hidden in the corners around our back porch, and out in the field behind our house. This poor plant should be shivering in its roots right now!

The husband banned me from buying any more plants, but where was he when they were talking me into this? No where around, I can promise you that. He doesn’t even know yet…when he does find out he’ll probably want to say a special blessing over the poor thing.

But all that aside, I’m actually happy about the plant. It’s really pretty, for one. And I’m thinking that surely a “summer housewife” such as myself can have the common sense and discipline to keep a plant alive. I mean I keep Kindergarteners alive for Pete’s sake! How hard could a big plant be?!

So I’ve made a plan. (And for those of you who have seen a pattern developing, NO – I haven’t bought a book on plants. YET.)

SURVIVAL PLAN A –

#1 – Put plant next to the window in the living room. I will see it every day when I sit on the couch, so I definitely won’t forget that it exists there. 

 #2 – Put a watering bulb in it. (You know, the kind you see on infomercials?) The one plant that I managed to keep alive for almost 9 months owed its life to that bulb.)

 #3 – Give the plant a name so that I feel more emotionally invested. Maybe I’ll go with Pete, so that when I say “Oh for Pete’s sake!” I’ll remember to water it. Or Shirley could be good, because everytime I say “well surely…” Chris says, “Don’t call me Shirley!”  Which would, once again, remind me that living things have certain requirements.

#4 – Talk to the plant. (Iggy did. That’s enough said.)

SURVIVAL PLAN B – Take it home to my Daddy. He can put it in his greenhouse at school and nurse it back to health.

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Besides fretting over my newly-acquired plant, I’ve also been completing a crafty project that Pappy started. She and my Mom taught me how to make these as a child, and the last time I was at Wal-Mart with her she picked up a set to have something to do with her time. She had just barely started one, so I’m finishing them. Check it out…

When I’m done (which I almost am – one more to go!) I’ll have 4 sweet little coasters for my living room that will remind me of Pappy. And I’ve decided that it’s a pretty relaxing hobby, so who knows where it will go from here. I mean I’m already blogging. The next natural step is to set up my own Etsy account. How much do you think I could charge for these things anyway?

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KEEP CALM & WATER ON! (Yes it’s okay, I understand that you now have a compulsive need to go check on your plants. Go ahead, I’m done posting for the day…)

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Categories: Daily Drama | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Dead Plant Walking

  1. Debbie Thompson

    Just got to love our Heather! I’m not sure what Chris (or Dan and I) did for God to bless you with us, but I’m so glad we did!!!!!!! Thank you, Lord, for Heather, her blogs, her love for YOU (LOL, just had to do it), her love for our son, Chris, and for giving her to us. Bless her, comfort her, and keep her. Let you light continue to shine on her. May she continue in Your ways, and become great in Your Kingdom. In His Name, Jesus. Amen and Amen!

  2. I have the blackest thumb around!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

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